彼得说:主啊,我为什么现在不能跟你去?(约十三37)
你有时真不明白,为什么不可以照心里所希望的去做。当神给你一张空白的纸,不要擅自涂上什么。只要等候。这白纸可能是要教你明白成圣的意义;也可能是要你体会成圣之后事奉的意义。切勿走在神的引导之前。若有丝毫的疑虑,就不是他的带领了。什么时候有疑惑,就不要动!
起初,你会很清楚看见神的旨意——与某某朋友断交,与某某人断绝商业上的关系。你这样做,很清楚是神的旨意;但是,千万不要单凭那种感觉而贸然行事。否则,所造成的许多错误,可能要费多年的时间才能矫正。只要等候,神会完成他的工作,这不会使我们伤心或失望。既然是神的旨意,就等神去动工吧!
彼得并没有等候神,他只凭己意揣测试炼会什么时候来,谁知试炼就在他意想不到的时候临到。“我愿意为你舍命。”彼得的宣告虽是诚实,却是无知的。“耶稣说……鸡叫以先,你要三次不认我。”耶稣说这话,表明他认识彼得,比彼得认识自己更深。彼得没有跟耶稣去,因为他不认识自己,也不知道自己的有限。人的热诚固然可以引导我们就近耶稣,使我们感受他的奇妙,可是却永不能叫我们成为门徒。人天然的热诚总会有一日否认主,不是此时,就是那时。
祈祷◆我何等渴望被你——炽热、光辉和荣耀的你——完全充满,以致除了你那恩典的光辉外,再不能容下别的东西。
January 4 Why Cannot I Follow Thee Now?
"Peter said unto Him, Lord, why cannot I follow Thee now?" John 13:37
There are times when you cannot understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings the blank space, see that you do not fill it in, but wait. The blank space may come in order to teach you what sanctification means, or it may come after sanctification to teach you what service means. Never run before God's guidance. If there is the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt – don't.
In the beginning you may see clearly what God's will is – the severance of a friendship, the breaking off of a business relationship, something you feel distinctly before God is His will for you to do, never do it on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will end in making difficulties that will take years of time to put right. Wait for God's time to bring it round and He will do it without any heartbreak or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.
Peter did not wait on God, he forecast in his mind where the test would come, and the test came where he did not expect it. "I will lay down my life for Thy sake." Peter's declaration was honest but ignorant. "Jesus answered him …The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied Me thrice." This was said with a deeper knowledge of Peter than Peter had of himself. He could not follow Jesus because he did not know himself, of what he was capable. Natural devotion may be all very well to attract us to Jesus, to make us feel His fascination, but it will never make us disciples. Natural devotion will always deny Jesus somewhere or other.